Alternatives to Corporal Punishment

As a parent it is your job to instill values and lessons into children. Part of this process is to punish a child when they have done wrong. There are many ways to do this without the use to corporal punishment.  First, let’s look at some things a good parent should have as their foundation. The following list given is the top eight foundations a parent should have when regarding children

Eight Foundations

Read parenting books and take parenting classes. Children are not like cats and dogs, so read so you can better be prepared for the trials of raising children.

Give your children tons of time and attention. Most children often misbehave to gain their parents attention. By spending time with your children you can help avoid this. If you don’t spend a lot of time with them, you won’t see negative behaviors and be able to correct them as well as you’ll miss out on encouraging good behavior.   

Treat your children with respect and dignity. Remember children are people to. Just because there your kids, that doesn’t mean you have the right to treat them like their second rate. As a parent you must command compliance but to do so in a kind and gentle manor. If you make the child feel part of your decision making about them; they will feel included and more welling to compile with your demands.  

Constantly praise your children for good behavior. If you always praise a child for good behavior; they are more likely to repeat the action. Try to praise a child on little things. If they mange to get dressed by themselves praise them, even if you wanted them to brush their teeth. You could say something like, “I’m proud of you for getting dressed by yourself, why don’t we go tackle brushing your teeth too.” This encouragement gives the child confidence and the child will slowing add brushing the teeth to his/her list because he/she knows he/she will be rewarded twice as much. The more times praise is used, the more a child complies with orders given.

Teach, model and explain things to your child. Children are always watching you for clues on how to behave. By setting an example of the behavior you want, the children will learn and mimic it. Provide models of good and bad behavior so the children have a guideline to judge their own actions by. Finally, no matter what foam of punishment explain to the child what they did wrong. Children might not always see their actions as wrong or they might be confused at what part of what they did upset you. By telling the child things like, “You know what you did,” can open a door of confusion. Even if it’s plainly clear what the child did wrong, tell me. By telling them, they have a chance to hear again what they did wrong and evaluate why it was seen as bad. Hearing the beivor they did with their own hears focus them to replay the seen in there head. This will have them thinking more about their action than if you simply told them they knew what they did wrong.      

Set clear and consistent boundaries. Children learn best when they can predict of outcome of events. By having clear good and bad behaviors they child will know before acting bad whether or not they will be punished. This keeps the child from enacting the unwanted behaviors in fear of the cretin punishment to follow them. Also if a child has a clean definition of what is okay and what is not, there is no valid argument when the child produces the bad behavior. That gives you control because you can relate back to the child that you clearly told them it was a bad behavior.

Work on yourself. No parent is perfect. Learn from your mistakes and try something new until you find a system that works for you and your child.

A parent who can follow these eight steps is well on their way to good parenting. After your base is set up, you can explore the alternatives of corporal punishment. Below are the ways to correct a child’s behavior. When staring out use each method once and see which works best for your child. You may find cretin methods work better for certain bad behaviors. Remember every child is different so try using different or multiply methods.  

Methods of Positive Discpline

101 Positive Principles of Discipline

The Top Ten Principles

1. Demonstrate Respect Principle - Treat the child the same way you treat other important people in your life - the way you want him to treat you - and others. (How would I want her to say that to me?) 

 2. Make a Big Deal Principle - Make a big deal over responsible, considerate, appropriate behavior - with attention (your eyeballs), thanks, praise, thumbs-up, recognition, hugs, special privileges, incentives (NOT food). 

 3. Incompatible Alternative Principle - Give the child something to do that is incompatible with the inappropriate behavior. "Help me pick out 6 oranges" (instead of running around the grocery store). If your husband is annoying you by playing his Gameboy, instead of berating him, simply ask him to help you by drying the dishes.

 4. Choice Principle - Give the child two choices, both of which are positive and acceptable to you. "Would you rather tiptoe or hop upstairs to bed?" (“You choose or I’ll choose.”) This can be used with spouses. “The garage needs to be cleaned out. Would you rather do it tonight or Saturday?” 

 5. When/Then - Abuse it/Lose it Principle - "When you have finished your homework, then you may watch TV." (No homework - no TV.) 

 6. Connect Before You Correct Principle – Be sure to “connect” with a child – get to know him and show him that you care about him – before you begin to try to correct his behavior. This works well when relating to parents, too. Share positive thoughts with them about their child before you attack the problems! 

 7. Validation Principle - Acknowledge (validate) his wants and feelings. "I know you feel angry with your teacher and want to stay home from school. I don't blame you. The bus will be here in 45 minutes." 

 8. Good Head on Your Shoulders Principle - Tell your child – frequently – especially as s/he reaches the teen years – “You have a good head on your shoulders. You decide. I trust your judgment.” This brings out the best in the child and shows him/her that eventually he will be in charge of his own life and responsible for his/her own decisions.

 9. Belonging and Significance Principle – Remember that everyone needs to feel that s/he belongs and is significant. Help your child to feel important by giving him important jobs to do and reminding him that if he doesn't do them, they don't get done! Help him/her feel important by being responsible. 

 10. Timer Says it’s Time Principle - Set a timer to help children make transitions. “When the timer goes off, you will need to put away your books.” “In five minutes, we will need to line up for lunch.” It is also a good idea to give the child a chance to choose how long he needs to pull himself together. “It’s okay to be upset, how long do you need?” Then allow him to remove himself from the group and set the timer. You may offer the child a choice (and set the timer) when it's necessary for him to do something he doesn't want to do. “Do you want to pick up your toys/let Susan have the wagon/take your bath -in one minute or two?”

Read more 101 Positive Principles of Discpline here.

With these methods you can teach your child without the use of physical harm. Next time your mad at your children, stop and take a look at the chart below. Print the chart out and have it with you. Look down the list and choose a method that might work to correct the behavior. Most important be patent, no matter what type of punishment you inflict on the child they won’t learn the correct behavior on the first time. It takes an average of 9 times for a child to break a bad habit or behavior. If you belt down and work with your child you can teach them the lesson without bring the paddle or belt out. We all love our children and want the best for them so take the time and try a hands free approach to punishment.